Adults With Childhood Trauma
Trauma is so complicated. It’s also extremely confusing! You may be certain that you’ve experienced a traumatic event, but it’s not always so black and white. A common misconception is that trauma happens once, when you experience a car accident or an assault. But, it’s not always that way.
The term “childhood trauma” refers to the experience of emotional, physical and/or sexual abuse throughout one’s formative years. Experiencing emotional neglect, growing up is also very traumatic. When you’re raised in an emotionally unsafe or unstable environment, it’s very confusing. You may have not have been abused per se, but you never felt like you belonged or understood. Growing up in these kinds of environments causes us to adapt in order to survive. However, in adulthood these adaptations can actually be harming our ability to thrive and be our best selves.
Witnessing and experiencing patterns of unhealthy relationships can also be very traumatizing. These types of patterns can wreak havoc on your adult relationships, leaving you with codependent behavior, abandonment issues and choosing all the wrong partners. And the worst part is you’ve been told for so long that you didn’t have it that bad. You're probably even telling yourself that.
You may shy away from telling your story because so many other people “have it worse,” but I want to hear your story. You may be apprehensive because your trauma occurred so long ago, how could it affect you now? But it can! Studies show that relationships dating as far back as infancy can have a direct effect on adult relationships. However, these attachment styles are not set in stone— they are learned and can therefore be unlearned. You just need a safe space with a trauma-informed therapist you can trust. I can be that person for you. I want to be that person for you.
I don’t want you to dismiss what you’ve gone through anymore. I want to work with you and explore how the events of your past have affected your life and your relationships. We’ll explore the relationships you have had throughout your life – healthy and unhealthy, and we’ll work toward achieving a more secure and healthy approach. You don’t have to carry that load all by yourself. I can help you carry it.
No matter what your experiences have been, I can tell you that your feelings are valid. Your pain matters. And we can work together to help you heal. We’ll work together to explore how what you have gone through is affecting your life and your relationships. I may be the professional, but you are the expert on you. So, we will take what I know as a trauma therapist and use it to help see where you’re struggling, and how you can heal and move forward.
“When we let ourselves feel, our inner self transforms.”
frequently asked questions
Why does Childhood trauma affect adult relationships?
Without the safety net of a secure relationships, children who experience childhood trauma often grow up to become adults who struggle with feelings of low self-worth and challenges with emotional regulation. This trauma can also really chip away at a person’s sense of self and lead to subsequent mental health struggles such as depression and anxiety.
What are attachment styles?
Attachment styles refer to the particular way in which an individual relates to other people. There are four attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant and disorganized. Find out your attachment style here.
can attachment styles change?
Yes! Attachment styles are learned. They can therefore be unlearned. You just need a safe and secure place to express the pain that you’ve endured. Once we understand it, we can learn how to navigate it and move forward.
